As I was leaving the gym today, I passed one of the personal trainers, with whom I have a superficial 'Hi, how're you doing?' relationship. We said hello to each other and then he said, 'So, are you just doing stretching these days?' I tried to explain that I was recovering from a hamstring strain and that I was finding being unable to run really frustrating and that I wasn't in the mood to joke about it, but he merrily carried on with disparaging my lack of physical activity. I could feel myself about to burst into tears, so I just turned and walked away. And then I had to hide in the loo until I stopped crying.
I don't know whether it was realising that people actually are noticing that I'm not doing anything, or whether it was because he essentially called me lazy (AND called me lazy in front of the person that he was doing training with), or whether it just brought home to me that running the marathon is NOT going to happen - but I was devastated. I had to have a Rocky Road cupcake at Costa Coffee to cheer myself up. (It didn't, by the way. That's how devastated I was.)
I know all of the logical, rational things to say to myself about this - including that this guy is a bit of a socially clueless fool - and I'm sure that I'll believe them tomorrow. But right now, I feel embarrassed and demoralised. I'm obviously not as okay with this whole not running thing as I thought that I was.